Sunday, May 8, 2011

Moved and Consumed.

Only two weeks from today, I'll be graduating from my first year of Gettysburg Master's Commission.

 A few days before I moved to Gettysburg, toward the end of last August, I started to get nervous. Nervous about leaving my family, mostly. As it often goes, one fear led to another and I began to feel pretty uneasy about the fact that soon I'd be moving away from home. 

I think I was driving home one night (or listening to pandora... either one) when this song came on the radio. I tried to find one for you to watch, but youtube lyric videos are either cheesy or really ugly... so i'll leave it up to you...

You Can Have Me- Sidewalk Prophets

"When did love become unmoving? When did love become un-consuming?... Father of Love, You can have me."

The truth of this song did something really good for me in those last few days at home. I was confident that Master's Commission was the right choice... confident that Gettysburg was where I was supposed to be. I don't remember doubting that much at all that month. I just started to wonder if I was even able to do what God had called me to do.

It's funny looking back on that now. Not because those fears were silly or childish... I love my family. But growing up happens and, honestly, I'm not sure I've felt homesick more than 2 or 3 days all year. 

God provided, comforted, and matured me when my only other option was to be consumed by my fear.

He's so good.

So here I am now. It's almost the middle of May and the first year journey is nearly over. I'm thankful beyond what I may be able to express in words that God called me here. Leaving family was a huge concern before the program started. But God helped me overcome it (and every other fear or excuse that could have gotten in the way, too).

The year has been beyond the goodness of what I could have expected. Sure, some days were very challenging... but the Lord really kept my call to Gettysburg in front of me the entire time. I'm encouraged today, as I take a next step into the summer and the next year in Gettysburg, to be moved and consumed by God's love again. As I make plans and choices that will decide what these next few years look like... I want to move past all fear and concern once again. Because God had something reallllly good waiting here in Gettysburg.

Lots of good things, actually. :)

And what he's preparing me for is even better.