Tonight Luke and I were on the phone working through some future plans and tough questions that have been running through our heads about God's provision.
When I'm afraid, my default question is "What if?"
"What if it doesn't work..."
"What if God didn't really say that..."
"What if I'm wrong..."
"What if there's something better and we're missing it..."
That's not a very good question to ask.
Unless it's asked in faith.
"What if I trust God?"
"What if God really meant it when he called himself my provider?"
"What if I tried something totally different and God does something cooler than I ever could have imagined?"
All throughout high school, even before high school, I was sure I'd go to a four year university. When God started whispering to me and telling me he wanted me to move to Gettysburg for Master's Commission, it freaked me out. I can't imagine how many times I asked, "God, you realize I won't graduate college the same year as the rest of my friends... right?"
He knew that already.
So I made some plans in my early high school years. And God gave me better ones.
He does that. And I love that about him. Even when it freaks me out.
I had to lay down my ideas about a four year school and instead join a discipleship and ministry training program at a church I'd never heard of.
Tonight while Luke and I talked, he started listing off a bunch of ways God has provided for us in the past year or so.
God brought us together.
I got a gift from my grandma's will that I was able to live off of for over a year, without a part time job.
God gave me the best home openers ever who invited me to live with them not just for the first nine months, but for summer, and the nine months after that.
God made it possible for the program I was in to create a job for me so I could give my time to growing the ministry and loving the students God called me to.
The list goes on with big things and small things: unexpected gifts, a raise for Luke, small jobs here and there to cover costs and give us freedom to do special things together...
God provides like crazy.
So now I'm 20 years old. And I have some high school classmates who are graduating college next year. It's weird and two years ago I thought my heart would be breaking because of that. But it's not.
God gave me a different life than I expected.
But it's better than I could have imagined.
Luke and I don't really know what our five or ten year plan is. We know we're called to ministry and we know where God has planted us right now with The Edge and The Ministry Experience.
We know the things we dream about and we know God's able to make all those dreams happen and so much more.
We know it's our job to trust Him first. We know God is a God who provides like crazy.
He does what he needs to do to accomplish his purposes and He loves us so much.
Thanks for asking us to join you in your awesome plans, God. I really love you for that.