Sunday, February 6, 2011

Delight (Life Form.)

I was getting ready for church this evening, thinking about some good things, and feeling maybe just a little bit frustrated about the uncertainty I've been struggling with. 

My golden retriever does this thing every time he gets a new toy. He looks at you and at the toy as if he's not completely sure that you're really giving it to him. When it sets in that, yes, it's his, he takes it in his mouth, turns around and flees the room. Every time Utley* does this, he goes to the rug in the entry way of our house. If you follow him and offer to play, he'll cover the toy with his paws and cute little head. Now that the gift is his, he's keeping it. But he's keeping it away from us. He's not sure if the giver of the gift will take it away and I think that might worry him a little... as much as a golden retriever can be worried.



So I felt a little like Utley today. 

Sometimes really good things happen. One moment we might rejoice with God about it... but soon doubt and fear come. Disbelief comes that something so good and so pure and so beautiful could be ours. So we cling tightly to it. I mean, really tightly... white-knuckle-tight. 

We get in our minds this idea that this thing is too good to be true. Sometimes I start to think God will take it from me. I worry about praying about it because I worry He'll tell me I was wrong... that it's just not time for this or I've just got to get rid of that. I don't mean for this to sound mocking. Because yes, there are definitely times when God rightly and graciously tells us that it's not time for that yet or that this thing we're allowing in our lives is destroying us and we NEED to get rid of it

God is good like that. He loves us a lot.

But what about the times when he's already confirmed something to me? What about the times when I see his sweet Fatherly hands all over this gift and there is a timing on my situation that seems to have flowed right from his heart? Those times are good.

Sometimes that is where fear gets the best of me. That "too good to be true" mentality invades and I "hide it from God" with my head and my hands, just like Utley. 

But tonight God said something really sweet.
He said He wants to delight with me in this gift. 

If I keep hiding the gift from him out of fear that he'll take it away (which assumes God, my best friend, heavenly Father, savior-provider, is some kind of threat to my well-being)... I'll never get to just enjoy it with Him. I'm not sure there is anyone to enjoy a gift with more than the one who thought to give it to you. It is so good to enjoy life with God. 

So tonight a weight was lifted. Fear died and uncertainty turned into faith. I sang and worshipped and cried (a little) amazed that what I tried to keep from God, He just wanted to delight in this with me.  

So whether an opportunity, a spiritual gift, some kind of blessing or a relationship-- don't keep it from God. You'll enjoy it much more if you don't run away to the rug in the entry way and hide it. He delights in being with you. 

The white-knuckle grip gets really old. But life lived with open hands allows God to give and take as he sees fit. I like that God has taken things out of my life. (Even when it was hard at the time) And I love that he's given me the things he has. He's good. All the time. 


* Utley is named as he is for this reason: My last name is Chase. Utley Chase reversed is Chase Utley. Chase Utley plays for the Philadelphia Phillies (or did.. who knows) and Dad, from Philly, is a Phillie's fan (phan). Now I feel like I should say something great about cheesesteaks. This is not the time. 

1 comment:

  1. your dog is the coolest ever! I love the Phillies and chase utley he is my fav player. I really enjoy reading your blogs, very nicely done. as far as cheesesteaks go... Wiz Wit. (ask your dad)

    ReplyDelete